tofu_tofu

I've come to the realization that the reason I don't like blogs is the highly condensed complaining. It's so much easier to complian when you don't have to direct it at anyone. You can just spew it out to the internet. About half of the e-mails I start to write never get sent because I can't find anyone to send them to that would appreciate all the evil thoughts and poisonous feelings I've contained inside them. The lack of direct targets makes blogging very dangerous. I mean the chances of me feeling worse about life after reading a random blog entry are about 3 out 4 the wrong way. That's why today I'm going to use this entry to do nothing but post pictures of cute puppies and frolic...screw it, it's way to much work to be happy.

I think the word of the day is resigned. O'Connor resigned today and I'm resigned to lots of things. Resigned to the fact that the Supreme court is going to get worse before it gets better, resigned to the fact that cookie monster is on a diet, that no matter how many times I check Bush is still the president, that going out and finding fun things to do takes a lot of effort but that sitting at home is even worse, that I'm not very good at doing things in moderation, that early people had it easy (invent the wheel and you are a genius. I bet that guy made a whole career out of it, of course he probably died by the age of 20 so these things even out), that sarsaparilla is a real word, and finally that no matter how many times I try and start using live journal it's probably only going to last a couple of days again before I forget about it.

burp

How did the Democratic party lose the battle to be the moral party? Republican's used to look at Democrats as naive because they stood to much on their morals and were not willing to get "dirty" and do what needed to be done to beat the Russians. How did we let them have this word?

Which is more an issue of morality, guaranteeing the most disadvantaged in our society some sort of minimal opportunities or decrying things that hurt no one like gay marriage. It amazes me that fiscal and social conservatives can form these alliances. Social conservatives should be part of the Democratic party. What has happened is that fiscal conservatives have made this great deal where they found a large group of people who should be voting against them but who they can give into on a couple of hot button issues they don't really care about and the social conservatives will look the other way on everything else. I just want to ask every social conservative lets assume gay marriage is wrong, who is more deserving of your help the millions of children in America who have poor education and no opportunities to get out of poverty or two adults who want a legal arrangement to exist between them that you think they aren't entitled to. Because that is the kind of choice you are making when you vote Republican. Why are you wasting your time trying to legislate morality when there are plenty of people who are doing nothing you would call immoral that need your help. I've heard Catholics I know say I wish I could vote for Kerry but I can't because of abortion. Even the Pope said you shouldn't decide elections just on a candidates stance on abortion. I guess these people just aren't smart enough to think about more then one topic at a time. If compassionate conservatism exist I haven't seen it yet.

I really thought the American people would back away from the cliff last night. But they ran right over it. My first inkling that there was trouble afoot was when my Dad told me he had voted for Bush. A couple of months ago he told me "I don't know how anyone could vote for Bush." Another unsettling thing was that when my parents went to vote I was still on the rolls in St. Charles where I haven't voted in 6 years. How much confidence do any of us have left in this system?

I talked to so many people who were voting for Bush who all had no good reason to vote for him except that he made them feel safe. Often when I asked them about what they thought about the patriot act, detaining enemy combatants indefinitely or other specific security policies they believed the specific policies were wrong. They don't like what he does but they like how he makes them feel. Our consumer culture has made us all short sided and now we are paying for it with just over half of America voting to feel safe rather then work to actually be safe.

It just hurts so much to feel that this election was unfair. That's not to say that I think the election was influenced illegally. I just mean to say that if everyone in the U.S. knew the facts that both sides have come to a consensus on Kerry would have won easily. According to some surveys a majority of Bush supporters still believe that Iraq has WMD's hidden somewhere and that Iraq had a hand in 9/11 for god's sake. The fact that so many Americans have exactly the wrong information and we are powerless to change it really makes you understand how McCain must have felt after that push poll in the primary in 2000.

I've always felt that Lincoln had no right to keep the south in the Union. Many people believe that slavery would have ended in short order in the South even without the civil war. It was becoming untenable for the U.S. to get along with others in the world because of slavery (sort of like Iraq is doing to us know). Abolishing slavery is really the only good reason I can think of for the Civil War. If slavery would have been abolished shortly anyways we should have let them go. It would have saved a lot of lives at the time and would have saved us this 8 years of misery.

I wouldn't have made it out of bed this morning except for the fact that I couldn't feel any worse and work might actually take my mind off this mess. I know that history will look upon Bush's presidency at least as negligent and dishonest and maybe as outright illegal. The U.S. can't stand alone forever. When China quits propping up our economy and we've finally called in our last few chits of good will throughout the world it is going to seriously effect the standard of living for the average U.S. citizen. The selfishness that is hurting us right now is a two edged sword. When Bush's disastrous policies start to hurt the average citizen on a daily basis there will be hell to pay and I think this is something even the Republicans won't be able to dodge. It's small consolation knowing that you are on the right side, but it's something. Good luck folks.

Tomorrow is my 5 year anniversary at Ibbotson. I got a present a day early today. I was originaly hired as an application devloper, promoted to Senior application developer, and now am being promoted to Senior software engineer. I have had exactly the same job responsibillities under each title. All this really means is that another 4 boxes of business cards are going to go to waste. I can build a really mean card castle now. Either that or maybe I'll make a suit out of my old buisnees cards for my haloween costume next year. Corporations are strange entities. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

THere is an adlibs like thing on insantparty.com. Here is Dana, Brian, and my creation:

It was Josh 's first time at a rave party. She was so crazy she actually spewed . She spent most of the night eating pineapples and drinking pina coladas . Then she met Steve, her dance partner. What a ice! He made her feel orange immediately. After a quick ball, they went into a cocktail and began to suck . When it was time to finally fuck she was totally lazy . What an unbelievable coal !

Since Cassini went into orbit around Saturn I've gotten into the habit of watching Nasa TV on the web for a half hour or so every night as I fall asleep. http://www.nasa.gov/55644main_NASATV_Windows.asx

At the time of day I watch it's generally mind numbingly dull pictures of people sitting at desks at mission control for the International Space Station. The picture is grainy, most of the time there is no sound and when there is it is mumbled. Despite this I can't stop watching it. I guess this is a science nerds version of watching some girls web cam in the hope that she might change clothes in view of it. On the plus side if you ever need to know where the ISS is at 11:00 you can give me a call and I can probably tell you. It's over Madagascar right now.

Nothing says successful party like drinking Oh Canada maple flavored liqueur with your friends right from the bottle. For those of you who couldn't make it to our 4th of July party now you know what you missed.

My work each year holds a golf tournament at Pebble Beach for our clients. This means that half of the company gets to go out there, have nice dinners, stay in a hotel at Pebble Beach and play golf for free. I've never gotten to go and I'm bitter that I could be playing golf at Pebble Beach today. To assuage this bitterness, us "left behinds" get a two hour party this afternoon. It's beach themed so some people are wearing Hawaiian shirts. This is fine in the office but I felt really self conscious when I went to buy lunch wearing mine. It's nice that they try and do something for those of us left behind but the only people left are the computer programmers, accountants, distribution, project management and graphic designers. These are the groups that are least likely to participate in anything. Meaning that at three a clock today I can stand in an almost empty room with a few other people I don't really know, all thinking the same thing: Why didn't they just let us go early. At least there will be beer. There needs to be a different word then party for these awkward forced social gatherings. I can't think of any word except maybe love that is so coarse and inadequate for expressing all the things it refers to. Gathering, shindig, event, hoot-nanny just don't get it done for me. Well, off to the party...

Violence against fungi.

Giving in to this is leaving a bad taste in my mouth. I don't know why I'm against this. I think I'm just upset that all my friends disappeared off e-mail one day and didn't tell me where they went for weeks. Left cold and alone in Outlook I took to e-mailing myself from my home account to my work account so when I got to work in the morning there would be a friendly name there. But then I turned on myself. I got real surly and started calling myself names. I really hurt myself so I had to block the address. I still send myself hate mail but at least now I don't have to read it. Then I payed this guy I met to send me nice e-mails. But his parole officer said that didn't count as legitimate work and now he's back behind bars. So I'm giving in. May my inane thoughts flourish like rats on the garbage hill of the internet. Long live Live Journal!